When life disappoints you and expectations go unmet, what can you do? Where do you…
In my book to help wives fan the flame on love, Red Hot Romance Tips for Women:
I share that[tweetthis]STONG is the new THIN! And being FIT can add FUN (and sizzle) to your love life! (Red Hot Romance Tips) [/tweetthis]
Here’s a short excerpt to help you two get up and active . . and reap the many rewards of wellness: body, soul, spirit and SEXINESS!
“Let’s get something very clear—your husband, at least at some point, and more likely even now, would use at least one of the above words to describe you. He thinks you are beautiful. One of my favorite stories that captures just why your man might think you are amazing (even if you don’t feel that way about yourself) is a story that goes back to what is traditionally seen as the first love-story: Adam and Eve.
The scene is this: Adam was created, then God grabbed a rib from Adam when he slept and made Eve. The word “make” is banah and it gives the impression of God planning out her design. He carefully put the finishing touches on her so she was exactly matched her man. Make can also mean “to accomplish, appoint, or bring forth.” So God didn’t just dream about Eve’s design; He accomplished the dream. So if your guy has ever said, “You are the woman of my dreams” or “It’s like we were “made” for each other”—well your man is exactly right!
As we discuss beauty, can we set aside all the unrealistic glossy fashion magazine runway model expectations for just a moment? That’s a relief- because[tweetthis]“80 percent of women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance”(and my guess this distress extends beyond American borders). [/tweetthis]
Our discouragement might be related to the fact that the average model weighs 23% less than the average woman. The Yale Center calculated how much an average healthy woman’s body would have to change to have the proportions of a Barbie doll. She would need to grow two feet taller, extend her neck length by 3.2 inches, gain 5 inches in chest size, and lose 6 inches in waist circumference. Now that we have set the impossible aside, let’s look at a more accurate definition of beauty.
I think First Place 4 Health
Vice President, and author of Don’t Quit, Get Fit, Vickie Heath sums up a better view of beauty with a simple comment, “Strong is the new skinny” Yes, let’s focus on wellness, fitness and health. The man you married wants you as a life partner so your job is to just live longer and stronger.
There are some interesting facts that link wellness to a red hot sex life.
[tweetthis]While researching our book, Red Hot Monogamy, we discovered couples that work out together have more sex! [/tweetthis]
There are several reasons for this:
1) Endorphins are released when you exercise and you are happier, so over all this means you will like your man better!
2) Exercising together bonds you with a work hard-play hard attitude
3) When you exercise, you will feel better about your body, and that means you will want your husband to see it!
So what will help you look and feel well? In 10 Secrets for Living Smart, Savvy and Strong I share the details of my personal story, of how I lost 50 pounds and have kept it off and regained my health. But let me give you a quick list of what to go “get” in order to “get” healthier:
- Get a great physician and nutritionist (Consult a doctor before you begin)
- Get Moving (Exercise 5-6 times a week)
- Get good nutrition (Eat a rainbow of fruits and veggies)
- Get lean proteins on your plate
- Get supplements (vitamins and minerals)
- Get away from sugar and processed (fast) foods
- Get adequate rest (at least 8 hours)
- Get more water and less caffeine
- Get a good trainer
- Get some cheerleaders (healthy friends) around you
- Get a lifestyle tracker (food and exercise log or a techie gadget like a Fitbit, “Up “or “smart “watch that can tack food, sleep, exercise.)
Picture yourself fit, alive and in love—now that IS BEAUTIFUL! When I took steps to regain my health, I felt more confident, sexier and gained the energy to do even more fun activities with my husband. He was beaming ear to ear as we jogged along the beach in our new running shoes on our 33rd anniversary. It had been at least a decade since I had enjoyed (or even tried) running with Bill. He told me later how proud he was of me, and how sexy I looked in my workout gear (that he also enjoyed taking off me later).
For the past decade, we have used our anniversary to try new activities and buy new fitness gear: We have snowshoed, jetskiied, cross country skied, biked, kayaked, and ball room danced. We have purchased bikes, skates, racquets, and workout gear. For Bill’s birthday last year, I gave him a set of 12 red envelopes and inside each was a gift card for an active date. The gift got double the impact- he smiled when he got the present and when we used it!
Tips for Red Romance
Danna Demtre, who is a grandmother now) and author of Scale Down- Live It Up!, has seen the impact of caring about wellness: “Even after 28 years of marriage – there is strong physical attraction. One thing we both do consistently to keep romance alive is to take really good care of our bodies – stay lean and fit. We accept each other’s flaws and the normal things that come with aging. But, we both appreciate a fit, lean body and that keeps things HOT for us! I think when men or women totally let themselves go as they become comfortable and even take their spouse for granted – it can impact intimacy greatly. I think we should give as much attention to pleasing our spouse physically in our later years as we did in our early years!”
Which of these activities would your husband like to try this month?
© Take to the dance floor (line, swing or ballroom dance classes)
© Take the water (kayak, jet ski, water ski, paddle board, surf, wind surf)
© Take to the air (parasail, sky dive, glider)
© Take to wheels (bike, motorcycle, skates)
© Take to the ice and snow( ski, snowboard, ice skate, snowshoe, sled)
© Take up a racquet (tennis, table tennis, badminton)
© Take a swing (baseball, softball, golf)
© Take advantage of technology (a wii fit, wii dance party, etc)
© Take up a hunt ( with a camera, rifle, or bow and arrow)
© Take to the gym (cross fit, a kickbox , zumba, or martial arts class)
Try to think of a clever way to invite your guy on this active date. Show up in a new workout outfit (or bathing suit); Create a clever invitation (tie a hotel key to a golf club); Dress up as a hula girl and hold his new surf board or boogie board as he enters the house. “
And remember to join the Red Hot Wife Challenge– a 26 day journey looking at the traits, A to Z that make us a more loving wife!
New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. 1995 (1 Co 3:16). LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.