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May I Have This Dance?

Dancing together has been a part of our love since our early dating days. We have been happily married for nearly 43 years and we like to think we waltz our way through life’s ups and downs. It is a natural response to desire to dance and linger in one another’s arms when your hearts beat together, so like a passionate Tengo, dancing and romance can be a beautiful pair to fan the flame on love.

Famous dancing genius, Fred Astaire, says, “In dancing, two people become one. You have to trust your partner, let go of your inhibitions, and work together to create something beautiful.”

His dance partner, Ginger Rogers, adds, “”Dancing is a way of working together to create something beautiful. It’s about listening to each other, supporting each other, and being in sync”

World renown ballet dancer, Mikhail Baryshnikov, explains, “Dance is a powerful tool for bringing people together. When we dance, we let go of our differences and come together in a shared experience of joy and beauty.”

Dancing with the Stars TV dance instructor, Julianne Hough, also expounds, “When you dance with someone, you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open. You have to trust your partner, and in doing so, you create a bond that is both physical and emotional.”

Bill and I have woven dance into our love life. We danced at our rehearsal dinner, wedding, and wedding night. We believe in building “Romantic Moments” into our daily life so we also dance anytime we wait for an elevator. My grandparents square danced every Saturday night of their 60+ year happy marriage, and even though we only square dance or line dance occasionally, we do follow the example of my grandparents who would two-step together each time they met in the kitchen.

As we have danced our way through life, we have noticed that dancing together in public most often gives us an opportunity to explain the source of our love, God. We danced down the frozen food aisle in the grocery store, we regularly dance while we wait for fast food, which once led to the cashier asking us the secret to our long-lasting love. We talked to her about the love of God and the next time we came in, we brought her one of our marriage books which led to us connecting her and her fiancé to premarital training. Most recently, each Saturday in the summer, there is a concert in a park near the marina where we dock our live aboard boat, so we dance on the bow of our boat and to most in our marina, we are known as “that dancing couple.”

Dance is a part of the fabric of Biblical culture. Ecclesiastes 3:4 explains that there is “a time to dance” And David, who “danced before the Lord with all his might” (2 Sam.6:14), offers dance as a way to praise God:

Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp.” – Psalm 149:3

Praise him with the timbrel and dance” – Psalm 150:4

In addition, science backs up the insight of dance professionals, our personal experience, and these biblical examples:

A study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy found that couples who participated in a 12-week dance program experienced improvements in relationship satisfaction, communication, and emotional closeness. The Archives of Sexual Behavior also found that couples who participated in partner dance classes reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction than those who did not participate in dance classes. Dance can be a fun and fulfilling way for couples to bond and strengthen their relationship.

Another study published in the Journal of Dance Medicine & Science found that dancing can be an effective way to reduce stress, raise positive endorphins and increase feelings of well-being. Perhaps a daily walk hand in hand by a couple be followed by nightly dance around the bedroom.

In my soon to release devotional, Growing a Joyful Heart, (co-authored by Karen Whiting), I share more benefits of dancing:

  • Release happy endorphins.
  • Creates natural pain killer.
  • Boost adrenaline system creating energy.
  • Releases pent-up tension and lowers stress.
  • Learning dance steps can strengthen brain health brain by building new pathways.
  • Improves coordination and confidence.
  • Enhances over all physical health.
  • Enriches balance and spatial awareness.
  • Develops social skills

One dancing date of ours stands out in my memory. We were on a cruise celebrating our 25th anniversary. We had enjoyed a fun date on a high ropes course and zip line, then returned to the ship for a dip in the pool and shower. We enjoyed a triple date with friends over dinner with an ocean view, then we walked hand in hand under the stars in the sand. As we walked, we heard live romantic music so we followed the sounds and found ourselves in the city square with a live band playing and we danced under the strings of lights woven in the trees overhead. Knowing our time on shore was drawing to a close, we strolled back to the ship, and as we slow danced under the stars on the upper deck to the music of the ship’s band, fireworks from the shore lit up the sky above our heads. Bill leaned in and whispered, “Let’s just say I planned this all for you.” We both laughed and giggled as we continued to dance wrapped in each other’s arms. We both knew full well that God our Father had orchestrated the steps of our dance that evening—but our Father in Heaven had also taught us the steps of unity and closeness in the dance called marriage.


Pam Farrel is the author of 60 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti (more than 350,000 copies sold in English and translated into more than 15

Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, Kindle Version

languages) Together the Farrels codirect Love-Wise and Proverbs 19:8 ministries, giving encouragement, enrichment and equipping in relationships.




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